I'm a dwarf, as you can see, but don't let that intimidate you.

[Rumple C]

Allow me to introduce myself. My title is Faenor. My name is Grok Brightblade. I'm kind of like a Valkyrie of Berronar Truesilver, even though i'm not a woman. It's a long story. I'm a Dwarf, as you can see, but don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid, unless you're a goblin! Just a little Dwarf and goblin joke for you.

The reason why i'm here is to help connect dwarfs back to the traditional ways and ancestral lines. Sometimes we were never given those ways of thinking, or it was taken away from us. How can you know who you are if you don't know where you came from? I mean, you can look around at where you are, but that doesn't tell you who you are. I don't know if you'd be interested in something like that? Do you reckon you'd be interested?

[Rumple C]

Another day, another bastard.

[Rumple C]

Nuli the bastard

Oh sing us a song of Nuli the dwarf
Who sinks like a stone
But lived on the wharf!

He used to be lost
But now he's been found
One box he was tossed
To take the long way around

Off the great rift he was sent
A quick kiss for Rudola
And out the door he went
He turned left at the pagoda
He last good bye had left him quite spent

He took the first ship at the dock
Talked to the captain and headed him south
One hand on his box, the other his sock
He remembered Rudolas pretty mouth
His resolve now set hard as a rock
No tears would his determination allow-eth

The journey went sour as quick as an itch
The ship ran aground
Umberlee was a bitch
The crew scattered for food to be found
Nuli guarded his prize safe in a ditch
Then out the jungle came the terrible sound
A giant lizard had eaten first mate Mitch

Fucking Chult! yelled the whalers
Get to the the life boat
So they rushed like mad sailors
Bailing all day to keep the skiff afloat
After a day with no food they all felt much frailer
Sheltering under their coats
While Nuli the bastard was the chief bailer
and sailors bemoaned their parched throat

[Rumple C]

It's not cannibalism!

Can
Anyone
kNow
Nuli
If
Blood
And
Liver
Irresistibly
Sated
eMptiness

...

If you eat a sailor, and are a bastard and a dwarf, it's not really cannibalism, right?

...

Great, the captain was missing, and had been for a week now. And not missing in the way the cabin boy accidentally strangled himself then got eaten on the life boat. Dambrath, man. Dangerous port. The problem was the state religion. Loviatar. Every asshole carried a whip. Hasn't he once seen Faenor Grok with that whip carrying Thayan? What was that all about. That captain better turn up today, or Nuli was going to be a real bastard and lead the mutiny.