Dobari Winkle
-
Stormseeker
- Orc Champion
- Posts: 460
- Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2004 8:53 pm
- Location: horseshoe bend, arkansas-usa
- Contact:
Yes...I've seen what you came in with next too. Sorry. But, I'll miss Dobari's stories.
"You people have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, when Private Pyle fucks up... I will not punish him. I will punish all of you! And the way I see it, ladies... you owe me for one jelly donut! Now, get on your faces!"
Somewhere, somehow a memory stirred
...
......and then the invisble mage sat up and said I dont know, by my arse is really sore! the tavern roared with coarse laughter as Dobari weaved in and out of the patrons. Where was he? Legs and crotches and smells blocked his view of faces, it aint easy being short.
A giant fishy hand reached down and pushed him against the floor. He wheezed in pain as a human sat on him. His air was forcefuly exhaled as the sailor laughed to his companions. He was in fact a fishmonger but Dobari would never know the truth. He turned red and the human eventually got off him when he stopped struggling and played dead.
He rolled away, scurrying under tables, through legs, and over vomit and sawdust. He gained purchase of relative safety ontop of an empty keg in a dusty alcove. He scowled in the sailors direction. Revenge! but how?
He thought of his limited magic. Then grinned. Spider climb and a smoke illusion. The patrons did not notice the gradual illusionary smoke which merged with that clouding the ceiling, nor did the notice the halfling who climbed up walls and into its enfolding billowing hidyness like a spider.
He hung overhead of the sailor and turned his head. Right over target. He was briefly distracted by the large bosoms of the serving women but applied himself to the task at hand. A little spittle was dropped discretely in the sailors ale. Like a vengeful raindrop! Revenge complete Dobari scuttled upside down back to his task at hand mush happier allthough more than a little bruised.
He would have been somewhat saddened to learn that the large bosomed serving maids had allready spat in the sailors ale.
...
......and then the invisble mage sat up and said I dont know, by my arse is really sore! the tavern roared with coarse laughter as Dobari weaved in and out of the patrons. Where was he? Legs and crotches and smells blocked his view of faces, it aint easy being short.
A giant fishy hand reached down and pushed him against the floor. He wheezed in pain as a human sat on him. His air was forcefuly exhaled as the sailor laughed to his companions. He was in fact a fishmonger but Dobari would never know the truth. He turned red and the human eventually got off him when he stopped struggling and played dead.
He rolled away, scurrying under tables, through legs, and over vomit and sawdust. He gained purchase of relative safety ontop of an empty keg in a dusty alcove. He scowled in the sailors direction. Revenge! but how?
He thought of his limited magic. Then grinned. Spider climb and a smoke illusion. The patrons did not notice the gradual illusionary smoke which merged with that clouding the ceiling, nor did the notice the halfling who climbed up walls and into its enfolding billowing hidyness like a spider.
He hung overhead of the sailor and turned his head. Right over target. He was briefly distracted by the large bosoms of the serving women but applied himself to the task at hand. A little spittle was dropped discretely in the sailors ale. Like a vengeful raindrop! Revenge complete Dobari scuttled upside down back to his task at hand mush happier allthough more than a little bruised.
He would have been somewhat saddened to learn that the large bosomed serving maids had allready spat in the sailors ale.
12.August.2015: Never forget.
So, anyways, there we were me and Bandobaris, a regular couple of chums outside Lovitars back door. I open it with a knock spell, and Bandobaris is through there like stink on Moander. I follow. We ransack the place, and finally find it.
Her feminine delicates!
I got the magic mouth spell ready to go, but old Bandy and I call him that out of friendship, he takes a sniff! I almost lost concentration then laughing so hard at his expression, but anyhows the spell goes off, and were back out the door like my magic mouth on her feminins!
Anyhows, I wasnt invited but the next day I heard back from the celestials, Lovitars up there in a get together with some of the other gods, anyhow right in the middle of negotiations when shes shrieking her head off about how shes the divine mistress of pain the spell goes off. And it sounds like this...
*fart*
Anyhows she looks horrified, the gods all fall about laughing, Tymora called her the mistress of divine smells, even Bane dropped his drink when he heard that, should have seen him giggle like a little girl.
And then...
That didnt happen, none of it happened
Well yes, Bandobaris but it all made a pretty good story dont you think?
Her feminine delicates!
I got the magic mouth spell ready to go, but old Bandy and I call him that out of friendship, he takes a sniff! I almost lost concentration then laughing so hard at his expression, but anyhows the spell goes off, and were back out the door like my magic mouth on her feminins!
Anyhows, I wasnt invited but the next day I heard back from the celestials, Lovitars up there in a get together with some of the other gods, anyhow right in the middle of negotiations when shes shrieking her head off about how shes the divine mistress of pain the spell goes off. And it sounds like this...
*fart*
Anyhows she looks horrified, the gods all fall about laughing, Tymora called her the mistress of divine smells, even Bane dropped his drink when he heard that, should have seen him giggle like a little girl.
And then...
That didnt happen, none of it happened
Well yes, Bandobaris but it all made a pretty good story dont you think?
12.August.2015: Never forget.
Hey Dobari, ever hear that thing about how when a butterfly flaps its wings in Sembia, a storm starts a hundred miles away?
Really? i never would have imagined
Well, its mostly true, watch.
*A small hand wipes a dirty silver plate, revealing beneath the grease a scene in a land far away.*
...
A huge half orc stood in front of a portly man, the scene docks. The man had a cruel mouth, and the half orc was almost cringing away from him. The man raised his fist to hit, and did so, then pushed at the half orcs huge frame. The half orc endured for a moment, then lifted the man easily, his cruel mouth becoming a terrified one, opening like that of a dying fish.
True to the nature of his mouth he hit the water, thrown far enough by the half orc to miss the dirty wooden planking and instead plummet flailing.
The half orc turned and left hurredly, taking up a broken spar shooting a warning look to other dock workers. They melted out of his way.
Eyes watched from the shadows.
...
Whos that?
Dead orc walking.
...
The orc was suddenly in a tavern somewhere, talking to a human woman. She stood abruptly and left with a staggering man. He followed minutes later.
The scene jumped again to a alley. Noses were held, then released as small figures ran at them. The half orc lashed out with his broken spar splattering aggression over walls. Then his huge hands wrapped around more aggression, clamping the biting and scratching to his giant frame.
Magic surrounded him. He charged like a bull smashing the form he still held into a wall as he did so. It stopped struggling. Feet pounded. Then stopped in place, frozen bizarely. Then walked. Sandles met polished boots then robes.
Clink.
...
*Shadows clouded the plate*
Whats that?
The beggining of the end.
...
Tables, chairs, and dark clad men. A child crying, a half orc shaking. A pat on the head, then scowls, finger pointing. The outcome? A half orc leaves, more scowls, and fingers drawn over throats.
...
Doesnt look good.
Watch.
...
The plate shone with light, showing a woman with odd eyes. Dressed for battle and covered in blood. The half orc pointed to the exposed skin above her breasts.
...
Nice!
Seen better.
I havent.
And your not likely to again, your dead.
Thats pretty mean.
Sorry.
...
A golem, a human, a dwarf, an elf and a half orc. Three left, and the scene jumped to an alley. The halforc between two. He opened and closed his huge fists. Then ran into flashing blades. His face, now huge in the plate, looked at Dobaris with dead fish eyes.
...
Ugh.
Youv'e seen worse.
Yeah, iv'e seen dead before, buts hes not pretty.
He was tall though.
Can you stop with the short and dead remarks please? Anyways, why did they do that?
Butterfly flapped its wings.
...[/b]
Really? i never would have imagined
Well, its mostly true, watch.
*A small hand wipes a dirty silver plate, revealing beneath the grease a scene in a land far away.*
...
A huge half orc stood in front of a portly man, the scene docks. The man had a cruel mouth, and the half orc was almost cringing away from him. The man raised his fist to hit, and did so, then pushed at the half orcs huge frame. The half orc endured for a moment, then lifted the man easily, his cruel mouth becoming a terrified one, opening like that of a dying fish.
True to the nature of his mouth he hit the water, thrown far enough by the half orc to miss the dirty wooden planking and instead plummet flailing.
The half orc turned and left hurredly, taking up a broken spar shooting a warning look to other dock workers. They melted out of his way.
Eyes watched from the shadows.
...
Whos that?
Dead orc walking.
...
The orc was suddenly in a tavern somewhere, talking to a human woman. She stood abruptly and left with a staggering man. He followed minutes later.
The scene jumped again to a alley. Noses were held, then released as small figures ran at them. The half orc lashed out with his broken spar splattering aggression over walls. Then his huge hands wrapped around more aggression, clamping the biting and scratching to his giant frame.
Magic surrounded him. He charged like a bull smashing the form he still held into a wall as he did so. It stopped struggling. Feet pounded. Then stopped in place, frozen bizarely. Then walked. Sandles met polished boots then robes.
Clink.
...
*Shadows clouded the plate*
Whats that?
The beggining of the end.
...
Tables, chairs, and dark clad men. A child crying, a half orc shaking. A pat on the head, then scowls, finger pointing. The outcome? A half orc leaves, more scowls, and fingers drawn over throats.
...
Doesnt look good.
Watch.
...
The plate shone with light, showing a woman with odd eyes. Dressed for battle and covered in blood. The half orc pointed to the exposed skin above her breasts.
...
Nice!
Seen better.
I havent.
And your not likely to again, your dead.
Thats pretty mean.
Sorry.
...
A golem, a human, a dwarf, an elf and a half orc. Three left, and the scene jumped to an alley. The halforc between two. He opened and closed his huge fists. Then ran into flashing blades. His face, now huge in the plate, looked at Dobaris with dead fish eyes.
...
Ugh.
Youv'e seen worse.
Yeah, iv'e seen dead before, buts hes not pretty.
He was tall though.
Can you stop with the short and dead remarks please? Anyways, why did they do that?
Butterfly flapped its wings.
...[/b]
12.August.2015: Never forget.
-
PensivesWetness
- Frost Giant
- Posts: 702
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:25 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio (where? whut? dude...)
+1 (And i'm sorry i didn't read the Apr 4th entry, thats a tale that would send poor Millia to gigglevile for certainsdarrenhfx wrote:Always entertaining
)<Gebb> ok, what does it mean to be "huggled"? <spidroth_esq> Something terrible. <Squamatus> buggered <Dran> sodomised <Squamatus> by an acorn on a stick <tresca> LOL <Gebb> that didn't help <alynn>
So, how do you use this thing anyhows?
Just tap it thusly, and you'll find something new to look at, but heres the kicker, you can only watch for as long as you dont blink, blink and you'll be onto the next one.
Neat! so how do i make things bigger or smaller?
Just move your head closer, now i have some work to do, have fun you little reascal.
*tap*
...
A lean man stood balanced on a pile of trade bars, a noose around his neck. He stepped off.
...
*blink*
Yuck.
Just tap it thusly, and you'll find something new to look at, but heres the kicker, you can only watch for as long as you dont blink, blink and you'll be onto the next one.
Neat! so how do i make things bigger or smaller?
Just move your head closer, now i have some work to do, have fun you little reascal.
*tap*
...
A lean man stood balanced on a pile of trade bars, a noose around his neck. He stepped off.
...
*blink*
Yuck.
12.August.2015: Never forget.
*tap*
...
A group of adventurers, high in the mountains, marching. Excitement.
*blink*
They were inside a cave now, weapons raised high. A savage with a flaming axe, a man in ornate crested armor, a dark clad man with a short bow, and two woman, one elven, the other in tight leathers.
*blink*
A huge battle raged. A white! A white! The barbarians flaming axe lit up the ice cave like a flaming disc of death. As often as not it bounced from the white, but as often as not it cut bloody steaming gouges. Wings flapped, snow and sleet thrown everywhere.
*eyes watered then blinked*
The battle raged again? Figures fled in fear, some returning swiftly to the fray, some cowering. Arrows sped from nowhere marking the dragon, or deflecting wildly. Magic missles, a pair. Crash.
*eyes water*
The dragon breathes white death.
*blink*
Outside now, a stone bridge, precariously high, heroes battle again the dragon. Two women now sword and dagger against gigantic muscle, curving claws, terrible teeth. Bright red blood sprays into the air like rain. It freezes instantly and falls. Both woman are down, the smaller deer helmed woman rises again, and is joined by the savage. Arrows fill the sky.
*eyes water then blink*
The same bridge. Three remain, the savage, the dark clad man, and a bear. The fallen are carried as best able.
*blink*
A feast of savages.
*blink*
A brick tomb.
*blink*
A group of trees?
*blink*
Blackness.
Odd. Neat battle though.
...
A group of adventurers, high in the mountains, marching. Excitement.
*blink*
They were inside a cave now, weapons raised high. A savage with a flaming axe, a man in ornate crested armor, a dark clad man with a short bow, and two woman, one elven, the other in tight leathers.
*blink*
A huge battle raged. A white! A white! The barbarians flaming axe lit up the ice cave like a flaming disc of death. As often as not it bounced from the white, but as often as not it cut bloody steaming gouges. Wings flapped, snow and sleet thrown everywhere.
*eyes watered then blinked*
The battle raged again? Figures fled in fear, some returning swiftly to the fray, some cowering. Arrows sped from nowhere marking the dragon, or deflecting wildly. Magic missles, a pair. Crash.
*eyes water*
The dragon breathes white death.
*blink*
Outside now, a stone bridge, precariously high, heroes battle again the dragon. Two women now sword and dagger against gigantic muscle, curving claws, terrible teeth. Bright red blood sprays into the air like rain. It freezes instantly and falls. Both woman are down, the smaller deer helmed woman rises again, and is joined by the savage. Arrows fill the sky.
*eyes water then blink*
The same bridge. Three remain, the savage, the dark clad man, and a bear. The fallen are carried as best able.
*blink*
A feast of savages.
*blink*
A brick tomb.
*blink*
A group of trees?
*blink*
Blackness.
Odd. Neat battle though.
12.August.2015: Never forget.
-
Brokenbone
- Chosen of Forumamus, God of Forums
- Posts: 5771
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 1:07 am
- Location: London, Ontario, Canada
Awesome... elegantly simple, but engrossing.
ALFA NWN2 PCs: Rhaggot of the Bruised-Eye, and Bamshogbo
ALFA NWN1 PC: Jacobim Foxmantle
ALFA NWN1 Dead PC: Jon Shieldjack
DMA Staff
ALFA NWN1 PC: Jacobim Foxmantle
ALFA NWN1 Dead PC: Jon Shieldjack
DMA Staff