A bard's life is a hard one 17+

[Melody]

This is a second topic thread for Faedra's songs or poems that have a slightly more mature content. Honestly the rating should probably be 13+, but I don't want to make a third post later down the road so consider yourself properly warned.

[Melody]

Please let me chissle your behind.
Please let me carve there you won't mind.
Let me chissle on, your sit-upon.
Please let me chissle your behind.

Let's face it your rump is quite flat,
and what isn't is lumpy and fat.
Soon they shall stare at your fair derriere.
Please let me chissle your behind.

With artistic eye and sure steady hand,
you will be the envy of woman and man.
The curves will abound, what joy you'll have found.
Please let me chissle your behind.

Beautious woman, please calm your fears.
You shall have the most sculpted of rears.
Relax, I'm a pro and soon all shall know..
Please let me chissle your behind.

Hard like granite but still marble-smooth.
My nimble fingers soon shall prove.
Nature is inferior, your posterior superior.
Please let me chissle your behind.

Reluctantly you then agreed.
It was obvious there was great need.
I shall sign it real small when I'm done with it all.
Please let me chissle your behind.

The work took great time and long toil.
Perhaps I needn't have covered you in oil.
Then my hands did slip, from your glistening hip.

A crack! Now everything's spoiled!

[NESchampion]

(( Very nice. ))

[Melody]

Have you heard the name that gives us a thrill?
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
The ladies who've heard it are chanting it still
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
Good luck it's a mouthfull in more ways than one
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
Either way that you try you'll be tired when you're done

When stopped by an Ogre, he gave Olaf a test
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
To see who's weapon the largest, the penalty death
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
No sword was unsheathed, but when it was done
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
The Ogre had no doubts that Olaf had won

Olaf chanced on a maiden, twenty feet high.
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
Her body of iron, and her head in the sky
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
Who knows what then happened for we all did miss
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
But ever since then Olaf's face bears her kiss

Travelling the ocean Olaf's ship wouldn't sail
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
So he caught up a mermaid by the tip of her tail
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
She swam him to the Marches as fast as you'd wish
Olaforalanononomimirolingtomorolifonaromsil
But Olaf says now that he's too tired for fish

[Melody]

Beware of Skaug and don't drink their grog,
Cause those Lovitarans are nobody's daughters.
They'll come up and smile, but after a while,
They'll try to raise their mast in your aft-quarters.

There's a little town named Skaug on an island that's half bog.
Where the Lovitarans run the show with iron hands.
And it's there I set my tale, though it's a story you know well.
Where those sea-hags make incessant harsh demands.

Beware of Skaug and don't drink their grog,
Cause those Lovitarans aren't anybody's daughters.
They might come up and smile, but after a while,
They'll try to raise their mast in your aft-quarters.

They took over all the trade and with the coins that they then made,
got the Captains drunk and snuck into their beds.
It had to be a lot of grog, cause at best they look like hogs,
and I don't know how the Captains missed the extra legs.

Beware of Skaug and don't drink their grog,
Cause those Lovitarans are nobody's daughters.
They'll come up and smile, but after a while,
They'll try to raise their mast in your aft-quarters.

The citizens bear the yoke, and it's enough to make you choke.
Be you Ffolk, Hafling, Northerner, or elves.
The trade is never brisk, and drinking isn't worth the risk
Since they're so ugly that they have to pay to beat themselves.

Beware of Skaug and don't drink their grog,
Cause those Lovitarans aren't anybody's daughters.
They'll come up and smile, but after a while,
They'll try to raise their mast in your aft-quarters.

[kiyoti]

man i love a good bard!

[mr duncan]

Got to love the naughty bard girls

[Melody]

I only knew you for a moment
But that memory will live forever
All things move in cosmic balance
And that night you were my tether

Your eyes were wide and frightened
I suppose that mine were too
Brown and shining in the darkness
With flecks of gold and amber through

I only met you for a moment
But that moment lives in eternity
Onwards from that moment
Through your eyes I see

[thinkpig]

Touching!

I wonder who claims human sacrifices in the afterlife... Kelemvor maybe? Or does Auril get her?

[Melody]

Faedra looks over her book as she stands at the railing of the ship. Flipping through the pages she stops as a familiar poem in elvish catches her eye. Unbidden tears drop onto the page as she remembers.

Night enfolds us lovers in sable velvet,
your cloak beneath us our only apparel.
My heart beats slowly as each moment,
spins outward like a dancer to this ancient melody.
Thus conjoined my spirit soars on gossamer wings,
floating on birdsong and the quiet whisperings of nature.
You are my shelter and my guide.
The smell of earth and sunshine
clings to your hair as it brushes against my cheek,
hiding the world behind a curtain of gold.

"Naamarie.." Her voice is no louder than a whisper. Looking at the tearstained page she tears it carefully from the book.

The Moon of Woe bobbed gently on the waves as she crossed over to the stern railing. Watching the snowy island that was now her home grow smaller in the distance she pulls out the paper and lets it drop into the wake of the ship. She watches as it floats for a moment before being pulled under by the dark choppy water.

[Castano]

Touching!

I wonder who claims human sacrifices in the afterlife... Kelemvor maybe? Or does Auril get her?

Lovely songs!

and thinkpig, on sacrifices, the dead go to their gods ... so be careful who you sacrifice mwhahahahahaha!!!!!!!

[Aitana]

Great stuff Melody!

Faedra has been a great addition to the pack.

Aitana

[Melody]

The dark haired woman had been talking nearly all day...

Faedra took out her book. Laying it in front of her on the rug she stretched out onto her stomach across the padded bands of blue, black, and grey. She looked at the blank page for a moment as she mixed the ink in it's stoppered jar. The feathered edge of the quill brushed against her cheek as she thought. Slowly the incessant chatter slowed to a stop as Faedra completely ignored the speaker. This was something the young woman would never have done even a moon ago and she found it strangely liberating. In the new quiet she found some words for the feelings inside of her.

I trust you Xujja, truthfully I do
even though you smile to see me cry
at the pain I'm going through.
I forgive your nature,I'll endure the pain
Forever is worth any cost to me.
Because I know for you it's love,
when you smile to watch me bleed.

Imperfect words, but the only ones she had to explain the complex emotions she had for the tiefling. She felt a mixture of fear, longing, and love rise up inside of her as her fingers brushed the words written on the paper. "Forever.." her lips moved forming the word as she read it silently. Never to feel that terrible loss ever again, to always be sheltered and safe in the arms of those who loved her. Closing the book Faedra stood and began preparing for her wedding.

[thinkpig]

The most loving and nurturing folks Faedra met are your friendly neighborhood Cult of Auril! There was so much love and tenderness going on last night I could barely hold back the tears of joy:)

[mr duncan]

Very nice work in the whole thread but I felt I should peek in and give a specific thanks for this last one. It is great to have you playing with the cult and the cherry on top is the fact that our little Faedra is such a talented bard

There was so much love and tenderness going on last night I could barely hold back the tears of joy:)

Wait... was that before or after the blood splattered sacrifices?


J