Evensong IV: Belong

[Killthorne]

I stand on the scarred, broken, and spell-burned precipice overlooking the statue of Eilistraee and the court square. My heart swells, the energies that lingered in my mind by the combat that took place here, their images, cascade their way into my eyes. I remember my left hand and it's fingers whipping to my boltcase as fast as possible, taking quick aim upon my foes as they swarmed upon the Temple. Driders, spiders... demons.. a bebilith... and then finally I met unconsciousness at the hands of a sargtlin.

I can feel my face tense, the stresses of knowing what I am, and what we fought... and what we fought for, spinning dizzily in my head. Self-loathing and grief sweep over me; thoughts of what ilythirri have done, are doing, and will do, furthering my self-hatred. Should I end my own life? I had never thought of it before, even when things were most dire. Now, it almost seems the right thing to do.

I take a deep breath, and try to shake those grim thoughts from head. I can feel the fear of giving up on my life take hold, a deep trembling inside. I am dhaerow. No one could or would care about my existance except myself. I was considered an enemy by birth to any of those that I might take up a stand alongside with.

And so I remind myself of my plans, and I am once again, calm. Xas, all these dreams and hopes. Feelings, I was not sure how to experience and handle, even though I am yet still placing faith in, as I go along. Placing faith in Eilistraee, and her words.

My idea was to never be known, but to aid. To help in ways that are unseen and subtle. If my life was considered forfeit to those I would aid, then so be it. I realize I have no allies other than my Goddess and those that would aid her. There is no place above or below that I belong to. This place... is no more than a dark corner of the world, where I can fill my head with idealistic images all cycle long, of my Goddess' promise of the Land Above.


" Have you even ever seen the Sun?" Sheyreza's words tease me, nearly mockingly, in my mind. The small golden flower given to me from Triel, was dried now, and frail. I knew it was only a matter of time before it crumbled to dust. Knots twisted in my stomach, as I thought of how fast my ideals of living Above could wither so quickly like this flower.

Again I heard her speak in my mind. " Have you even ever seen the Sun?" I remember what I said in response, and my stomach settles a little.

" Nau... but I would bear it." I whisper it softly to the statue. I grit my teeth, feeling the same passion I had, while in combat. Nau, she promises us a place. I will find it. And I will belong there.

[Mikayla]

Beautiful Killi.

[Burt]

Me like.

[Misty]

Excellent!

[Zakharra]

Very good story Kill.