Lord of the ALFA, The Companion.

[Mikayla]

The following entry for the LotA Companion is not properly formatted because I cannot find the original writing. Please forgive.

Introduction.

The Lord of the ALFA Companion,
LotAC for short, is your definitive
guide to the Lord of the ALFA.
In Chapter 1 of LotAC, you will find
short descriptions of the Fellowship
of the Forum. In Chapter 2, you will
find an episode by episode, err,
chapter by chapter, synopsis of the
LotA. Finally, in Chapter 3, you will
find the index in which the LotAC attempts
to list every supporting ALFAn character
in the LotA.
Chapter 1 – The Fellowship.

Below are statistical entries for the Fellowship of the Forum. There are two entries for each of the members of the Fellowship. The first entry represents the member ‘in character’ at the start of the battle for the Tower of Anvalar. The second entry is for the Fellowship member’s forum statistics. The ingame statistics are hopefully accurate as per 3.5 ed D&D rules, though given the complexity of the characters, I am sure I made mistakes. C'est la vie.

AVA/Lylah

Lylah (aka Ava in character): Female human Src 15; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (human); HD 15d4+18; HP 60; Init + 2; Spd 30ft; AC 21 (touch 15, flat footed 19); Atk +8/+3 melee (d4, +1 chaotic dagger, plus poison) or +11 ranged (d4, +1 chaotic dagger, plus poison); SA Summon Familiar; AL CN; SV Fort +6 Ref +8 Will + 10; Str 8 Dex 14 Con 13 Int 10 Wis 12 Cha 18(20). Height 5’ 7”.
Skills and Feats: Bluff +10, Concentration +11, Knowledge (arcane) +6, Profession (dancer) +8, Spellcraft +8; Harem Trained, Toughness, Still Spell, Silent Spell, Spell Focus (enchantments), Spell Focus, Greater (enchantments), Extend Spell.
Spells/Day (6/8/8/7/7/7/7/4)
Spells Known 0 – Read Magic, Detect Magic, Light, Mend, Mage Hand, Daze; 1st – Charm Person, Sleep, Hypnotism, Shield, Comprehend Languages; 2nd – Detect Thoughts, Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, Touch of Idiocy, Alter Self, Daze Monster; 3rd – Deep Slumber, Heroism, Hold Person, Dispel Magic; 4th - Geas, Charm Monster, Confusion, Crushing Despair; 5th - Dominate Person, Hold Monster, Mind Fog, Symbol of Pain; 6th - Geas, Mass Suggestion, Symbol of Persuasion; 7th – Mass Hold Person, Insanity.
Possessions +1 chaotic dagger coated with poison, amulet of natural armor +3, bracers of armor +3, ring of protection +3, Nymph Cloak +2.
Languages Common.

Ava (OOC) Female human Consensus-Builder10, Kalbar-Groupie 4, Admin (PrC) 1 of ALFA and Toril; Init Very High; Atk +10 innuendo (d8+3 ego damage); SA Plane-walk (allows instant travel between Persistent World projects), Nerd Empathy, -4 on saves vs. Kalbar’s Reasoning; AL whatever everyone else likes.
Skills and Feats Diplomacy +18, Fashion +1, Knowledge (ancient ALFA) +8, Knowledge (outer persistent worlds) + 7.
Possessions Figurine of Wonderous Power, My Crystal Pony, Magic Purse containing the items revealed in the LotA Chapter 5.5, “The Shameless Time-Stalling, Tension Building Interlude.”
Languages: English, Groupie, Soothing.

mother/J’kin

J’kin Gristillodar (in character): Male sun elf Ftr 10, Rgr 5; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (elf); HD 10d10+5d8+30; HP 120; Init + 3; Spd 30ft; AC 25 (touch 16, flat footed 22); Atk +18/+13/+8 and +17 (d6 + 5/18-20 Rapier +3 and d4 + 4, hand axe +2) or +22/+17/+12 ranged (d8+3 Mighty (+2) Composite Longbow +3 with arrows +1); SA Immune to sleep/paralysis, Favored enemy (humans) +4, Favored enemy (drow) +2, Wild Empathy, Animal Companion, +2 on saves v. enchantment, Low light vision, +2 to search, spot and listen, keen senses; AL CN; SV Fort +13 Ref +10 Will + 5; Str 14 Dex 17 Con 14 Int 12 Wis 9 Cha 13. Height 5’ 8”.
Skills and Feats: Climb +8, Handle Animal +9, Hide +13, Jump +8, Knowledge (Cormanthor Forest) +9, Listen +9, Move Silently +13, Ride +9, Search +10, Spot +9, Survival +7, Swim +8; Two-Weapon Fighting, Precise Shot, Mounted Archery, Leadership, Iron Will, Dodge, Mobility, Point Blank Shot, Many-Shot, Combat Style – Rapid Shot, Mounted Combat, Sharp Shooting, Improved Two Weapon Defense.
Possessions Studded Leather +3, Rapier +3, Hand Axe +2, Mighty (+2) Composite Longbow +3, 40 arrows +1, Knife +1, Ring of Protection +3, Amulet of Natural Armor +3.
Languages Elven, Common, Chondathan.

J’kin/Mother (ooc) Male human Thug 5, Builder 5, Dad (PrC) 5, Spd 6 posts/hour when present; Atk +18 (d8 ego damage, School Yard Bully Wit +3, ); SA Disappear with out a trace, Favored enemy (authority figures) +4, Favored enemy (members of the ALFAquake’s Underground) +2, Tunnel vision; AL Chaotic Insulting; Height 6’4”.
Skills and Feats Intimidate +10, Bully +10, Posture +10, Build Server +10, Knowledge (ancient ALFA) +10, Knowledge (ALFA Quake) +0, Hide (+15); Extend Insult.
Possessions Earthspurs, Intolerant Attitude +5, Lens of Truthful Self Examination +5 (one use/6 months), Bag of Grudge Holding.
Languages English, Vulgarian.

Kalbar/Sir Kalbar

Sir Kalbar (in character): Male human Ftr 4, Pal 11; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (human); HD 15d10 + 30; HP 127; Init + 1; Spd 30ft (20ft in armor); AC 25 w/o shield, 29 w/shield (touch 14, flat footed 24/28); Atk +23/+18/+13 (2d6 + 11/19-20
SA Aura of Good, Detect Evil, Smite Evil (3/day), Divine Grace, Lay on Hands (22 hp/day), Aura of courage, Divine health, Turn undead, Remove disease (2/week); AL LG; SV Fort +15 Ref +7 Will + 7; Str 17(19) Dex 12 Con 14 Int 10 Wis 13 Cha 14. Height 6’4”.
Skills and Feats: Diplomacy +8, Handle Animal +10, Knowledge (nobility) +2; Knowledge (religion) +2; Ride +12, Sense Motive +7, Swim +7; Power Attack, Mounted Combat, Weapon Focus (Greatsword), Ride-by-Attack, Spirited Charge, Weapon Specialization (Greatsword), Cleave, Leadership, Divine Might, Divine Vigor. Possessions Fullplate +3, Lawful, holy, greatsword +3, Ring of Protection +3, Large Metal Shield +2, Gauntlets of Strength +2.
Languages Common.

Kalbar (ooc): Male Troll, Provocateur 10, Debater 5; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (troll); Init Low to Lazy; Spd 8+ posts per hour when riled; SA Immune to logic/reason, Smite liberal (3/day), Aura of (false) righteousness, Detect political party, Turn reason; AL Lawful Self Serving; Height immaterial as he disavows ever meeting us.
Skills and Feats: Bluff +15, Diplomacy +8, Handle Liberal +5, Knowledge (politics) +5; Knowledge (religion) +5; Model Swimsuit +12, Ride (off topic dead horse) +5, Sense Motive +7, Swim Muck Filled Forums +7; Power Post, Post Focus (Abortion), Spirited Debate, Post Specialization (Abortion), Improved Change Topic, Divine Shield (from reason), Scribe Other’s Work, Improved Avoid Game.
Possessions Tome of RIGHTeous Thought
Languages Common, Double-Speak.

M’kayla/M’kayla Tlabbar

M’kayla Tlabbar (in character). Female half-fiend, half-drow Ftr 1, Clr 9, Divine Disciple 5 of Lolth; CR 19; Medium-size humanoid (half-fiend); HD D10+14D8+15; HP 97; Init + 5; Spd 30ft/30 ft fly; AC 31 (touch 18, flat footed 23); Atk +18/+13 and +10 melee (d4+4/19-20 Mighty (+3) Whip-knife +3 and D6+4/19-20
Drowcraft Shortsword +3); SA Fly, Smite good (1/day 15 hp), Dark (3/day), Desecrate, Unholy Blight, Poison (3/day), Contagion, Blasphemy, Unholy Aura (3/day), Horrid Wilting, Immune to Poison, Acid/Cold/Fire/Elec resist 10, Natural armor +1, DR 10/magic, Immune to sleep/paralysis, +2 saves vs. enchantments, +2 will saves vs. spell effects, Keen senses, Darkvision 120’, SR 26, Dancing lights, Faerie Fire, Light Blindness, Exotic Weapon Prof (Handcrossbow), Divine emissary, Sacred defense +2, Imbue Spell, Transcendence, Rebuke Undead and Spiders; AL CE; SV Fort +13 Ref +13 Will + 13; Str 12 Dex 21 Con 12 Int 16 Wis 17 Cha 18. Height 6’1”.
Skills and Feats: Concentration +15, Craft (whips) +7, Diplomacy +18, Handle Animal +8, Heal +8, Hide +14, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (planes) +8, knowledge (religion) +12, Listen +5, Move Silently +10, Spellcraft +12, Search +5, Spot +5, Swim +5; Highborn Drow, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Finesse, Lolth’s Blessing, Exotic Weapon Prof (whip), Craft Arms and Armor, Craft Wands, Lighting Reflexes (domain bonus).
Spells/Day (6/7/7/6/5/4/4/3)
Spells Prepared 0 –Detect Magic (x3), Read Magic (x2), Mending; 1st – Disguise Self*, Faith Healing (2), Protection from Good, Protection from Evil, Bless, Divine Favor; 2nd –Invisibility*, Bull Strength, Bears Endurance, Undetectable Alignment, Silence, Cure Moderate Wounds (x2); 3rd – Phantom Steed (spider)*, Dispel Magic, Prayer, Magic Circle v. Evil, Cure Serious Wounds (x2); 4th – Giant Vermin*, Sending, Dismissal, Death Ward, Cure Critical Wounds; 5th – Insect Plague*, Scrying, Flame Strike, True Seeing; 6th – Greater Dispel*, Heal, Harm, Planar Ally; 7th – Stone Spiders*, Destruction, Mass Cure Serious Wounds.
*Domain Spell. Domains: Trickery, Spider, Drow.
Possessions Mithral Breastplate +3, drowcraft buckler +3, Mighty (+3) Whip-Knife +3, drowcraft shortsword +3, chaotic, unholy spider-dagger +3, ring of protection +3.
Languages Elven (drow), Undercommon, Common, Drow sign, Abyssal, Infernal.

M’kayla (ooc). Female bisexual, Soldier 2, Lawyer 3, Drow Thread-Hi-jacker 10 of Lolth; Init only when provoked; Spd 6+posts/day; SA Smite serious (1/day), Desecrate post, Unholy knowledge, Poison n00b (3/day), Gender Blasphemy, Ridicule resist 10, Thick skin +1, DR 10/queer insult, Keen post-senses, Tunnel vision 120’, Faerie Powers, Transexuality, Rebuke Deviants and Perverts; AL Narcissist; Height 6’1”.
Skills and Feats: Concentration +1, Craft (d&d minis) +6, Diplomacy +10, Fashion +8, Heal insult +4, Intimidate +12, Knowledge (drow) +18, knowledge (religion) +2, Search Forums +5, Spot Insult +5; Ambi-sexuality, Two-Gender Dating, Lolth’s Blessing, Exotic Weapon Prof (whip), Scribe Parody, Craft Self, Lighting Forum Reflexes (domain bonus).
Possessions Super-sensitive ego +5, Unholy, keen, biting Rapier of Wit +5, Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity (used).
Languages English, Elven (drow), Spanglish.

Pelham/Sir Pelham

Pelham (in character) Male human Ftr 10, Clr 5 of Torm; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (human); HD 10d10 + 5d8 + 30; HP 122; Init + 2; Spd 30ft (20ft in armor); AC 27 (touch 11, flat footed 26); Atk +20/+15/+10 (d8 + 7/15-20 keen longsword +3); SA Turn undead; AL LG; SV Fort +13 Ref +6 Will + 8; Str 15 Dex 14 Con 15 Int 11 Wis 13 Cha 13. Height 6’.
Skills and Feats: Climb +7, Concentration +10, Handle Animal +6, Jump + 7, Knowledge (religion) +2, Ride +7, Swim +7; Weapon Focus (longsword), Power Attack, Mounted Combat, Ride-by-attack, Trample, Improved Shield Bash, Craft magic arms/armor, Cleave, Weapon Focus (heavy lance), Weapon Specialization (longsword), Spirited Charge, Improved Critical (longsword), Greater Weapon Focus (longsword).
Possessions Fullplate +3, keen longsword +3, Large Metal Shield +3, Portable Hole, Decanter of Endless Water.
Languages Common.

Pelham (ooc) Male human blah blah blah. Gimme a break. He is not around to defend himself and he was not all that interesting or quirky to begin with – he just posted a lot and was part of the group Kal-kal and Whitey were going to put together.

White Warlock/Magilus Zorbok the White Warlock

Magilus Zorbok, aka The White Warlock (in character). Male human Wizard 10, Druid 5 of Thoth; CR 15; Medium-size humanoid (human); HD 10d4 + 5d8 + 30; HP 83; Init + 2; Spd 30ft; AC 21 (touch 17, flat footed 14); Atk +9/+4 melee (d6 + 1
Skills and Feats: Craft (alchemy) +15, Craft (wood working) +12, Concentration +19, Decipher Script +15, Knowledge (arcana) +15,Knowledge (planes) +15, Spellcraft +17; Combat casting, Iron Will, Brew Potion, Scribe Scroll, Craft Wand, Silent Spell, Quicken Spell, Empower Spell, Craft Staff, Extend Spell.
Spells/Day Wizard (4/5/5/5/4/2/1) Druid (5/4/3/2)
Spells Prepared Wizard 0 – Read magic, Detect Magic, Light, Mending; 1st – Shield, Magic Missle, Protection from Evil, Expeditious Retreat, Unseen Servant; 2nd – Bear’s Endurance, Scorching Ray, Misdirection, Detect Thoughts, See Invisible; 3rd – Non-detection, Dispel Magic, Arcane Sight, Fireball, Displacement; 4th – Lesser Globe of Invulnerability, Stoneskin, Scrying, Charm Monster; 5th – Fabricate, Interposing Hand; 6th – Globe of Invulnerability.
Druid 0 – Create Water (x2), Cure Minor Wounds, Light, Purify Food and Drink; 1st – Speak with Animals, Endure Elements, Cure Light Wounds (x2); 2nd – Animal Trance, Gust of Wind, Animal Messenger; 3rd – Cure Moderate Wounds, Daylight.
Possessions Al’akbar’s Ironwood Storm Staff, Wand of Circe, Wand of Polymorph, Bracers of Armor +4, Ring of protection +5, Ring of jumping, Scroll of Hold Monster (x5), Cloak of Useful Items, masterwork dagger.
Languages Common, Lizardman, Elven, Elven (drow) 50%, Hill Giant, Gnome.

White Warlock (ooc). Male human Pontificator 15; SA Summon Faithful Flunkies, Forum Sense, Player Empathy, Thread Stride, Resist Game’s lure; AL Neutral Self-important.
Skills and Feats: Craft (long winded posts) +15, Craft (short posts) +1, Concentration +99, Decipher Script +1, Knowledge (d&d) +3,Knowledge (martial arts) +10, Forumcraft +10; Combat posting, Brew Bad Blood, Scribe Treatise, Craft Ideas, Quicken Insult, Empower Other’s Post, Extend Argument.
Possessions Beard squirrel of female repulsion, Keyboard of Quitting, Tome of Clear Thought Regarding ALFA.
Languages English, Martial Arts, Boredom, Ancient English (the tongue of old people).


Chapter 2 – A LotA Chapter by Chapter Synopsis.

Each synopsis also includes a section for the supporting cast in that chapter. Supporting cast is any ALFA member, ALFA player character or WotC Iconic character who is not a member of the Fellowship of the Forums. ALFA player character names are italicized while WotC Iconic character names are underlined.

Lord of the ALFA, Book I The Fellowship of the Forum.

LotA 1: A group of adventurers are brought together along the Sword Coast near Baldur’s Gate. They include, Sir Kalbar, a human paladin of Tyr (and all the right thinking gods) who believes himself to be the only truly important person in all the realms save for the noted sage Sir Headuphisass whose writings Sir Kalbar follows like gospel; Sgt. Pelham, Sir Kalbar’s dutiful, practical, yet boring man-at-arms; J’kin, a bald, tattooed, muscled elf of the elf supremacist movement, N’Vaehlar; Ava, the enchantress, who is endowed with mad sorcery skillz but is forever infatuated with Sir Kalbar; White Warlock, a Gandalf/Elminster clone who is forever advising, insulting and quitting; and, M’kayla, the Valsharess, a drow high priestess who is more than what she seems. The group gathers and is accosted by DM Andrew looking for illegal items but finds none as Lafter is not around and Higgy has hidden his. A disembodied voice speaking about itself in the third person is heard; Gromnir. Grom declines to venture forth as he has KotoR to play. The adventurers then confront Cassiel who they promptly banish back to the outer plane of Britain.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Danubus as Corporal Dan
Krbang as Private Krbang
Andrew as a DM looking for illegal items.
Hignar as a character trying to hide his illegal items.
Gromnir as a disembodied voice.
Cassiel as a demon of knowledge and mockery from the Outerplane of Britain

LotA 2: Fionn Bartadil. The gnome spam-spirit, Fionn Bartadil, the ALFA and the OMEGA of the forums, comes upon the adventurers and tells them all they are the ‘Chosen of the Forums’ and together they are the ‘Fellowship of the Forum.’ Though they do not get Dental with that, they do get ‘Forum Fire’ which is like Spellfire but for forums. M’kayla tries it out on DM Andrew whom she burns to cinders. M’kayla is happy. Fionn then tells the Fellowship they must travel to the Ivory Tower in Silverymoon and speak with the White Lady, Wynna, to learn why they have been brought together. M’kayla is no longer happy.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn Bartadil, the Spam-Spirit, the ALFA and Omega of the Forums.
Andrew, as a DM giving a class to other DMs.
Hignar as the source of Andy’s information.

LotA 3: Big Trouble in Little Waterdeep. The Fellowship travels to Waterdeep where they get brought before Don Evro, the Oddfather of Waterdeep’s underworld, his adopted son, Coby, and the (not really a) drow pirate queen Vixi. Coby identifies M’kayla as a Narc, then reveals he is also Treowe and Devin Drakeswind. Evro and Coby mix it up and another Waterdeep guild war erupts. In the midst of the chaos, Jayde Burton drives his 18-wheel wagon into the fray and saves the Fellowship.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Bommbrakh as a candidate for Lord of Waterdeep, District 12.
Indio as the creator, Lord IndiAO.
Evro as Don Evro, the Oddfather of Waterdeep.
Coby as the adopted son of Don Evro, and as Treowe and Devin Drakeswind.
Vixisyn as the (not really a) drow pirate queen.
Jayde as Jayde Burton.

LotA 4: The White Lady. Jayde Burton drops the Fellowship off on the outskirts of Silverymoon and the Fellowship walks into town. In Silverymoon, the Fellowship meets with Vice President Duck of the United Servers of ALFA who takes the Fellowship to meet the White Lady, Wynna. Wynna, the white Lady, speaking to the Fellowship in a bad Russian accent, tells the Fellowship that an UNNAMED EVIL is out to destroy ALFA-Toril, and that the Fellowship must stop it. Wynna sends the Fellowship east to see if Georage has any SMDs (Scripts of Mass Destruction). Wynna also picks all their pockets.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Jayde as Jayde Burton.
Cast-no-Shadow as one of the ALFA-lemmings.
Fionn as Fionn Bartadil.
Duck as Vice President Duck of the United Servers of ALFA.
Wynna as Wynna the White.
Brian-Jesse-Karen as one of the possible evil’s behind the attack on ALFA-Toril.
Georage as one of the possible evil’s behind the attack on ALFA-Toril.
Ayergo as no one in particular – I just paraphrase his oft quoted good-bye out the door tag line.
McJoker as President of the United Servers of ALFA.

LotA 5: Its the Cheese! The Big Cheese of the Shades stops the Fellowship in the Anauroch desert. The Big Cheese threatens the Fellowship with all sorts of doom and mayhem, but M’kayla is equipped with the one weapon that is certain death to all cheese: A fondue fork. The Big Cheese and his forces retreat, but not before pointing out that the fellowship appears to be surrounded by Bedine and Zhents. The Fellowship realize that forum fire will not hurt the NPCs and creatures of the Bedine and Zhent forces, so the only way through them is to kill them, IN CHARACTER….

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn Bartadil
Grand Fromage as the Big Cheese of the Shades.

LotA 5.5: The Shameless Time-Stalling, Tension Building Interlude. This chapter is pretty much as described in its title though we do get to go through the contents of Ava’s magical purse….

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
None.

LotA 6: The Sands of Anauroch. In Character. The Fellowship evaluates its situation and decides to fall back to the ruined tower of Anvalar they had passed previously. The in-character explanation of the party being assembled is provided to some extent as well. The Fellowship heads back west, with J’kin in the lead, towards the ruins.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn Bartadil.

LotA 7: The Tower on the Edge of Darkness. In Character. J’kin scouts the ruins to find them occupied by Zhent warriors waiting in ambush. J’kin engages with his bow, killing many, but finally gets pinned down by the Zhent crossbowmen. A Zhent phalanx forms up to meet the Fellowship but Pelham and Kalbar destroy it with a devastating cavalry charge. Though victorious, Pelham, Kalbar and J’kin are wounded and all three have their horses killed. The Fellowship begins to consider untying M’kayla so they can use her spells.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
None.

LotA 7i: Interlude – the Good, the Bad and the Rezzed. Lafter and Evro cruise through South Central aLfA to find the body of their homeboy, El Oso Cuidado (the Carebear), in a dumpster. After retrieving El Oso Cuidado they are accosted by Officer Andrew of the Waterdeep DM Department. Officer Andy finds the body of El Oso Cuidado in the trunk of Laffy’s Impala, and a shoot out begins. Within moments, Evro, Laffy, Andy, an OrcPaladin and a not-quite-dead-yet El Oso Cuidado have set the streets of ALFA ablaze and the fire department is called out.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Lafter as Lafter aka Mashan.
Evro as Evro.
Wild Wombat as “El Oso Del Cuidado” (the Carebear).
Andrew as a DM cop from Waterdeep.
Orc Paladin as an Orc Paladin Were-Weasel.
Elorn as an irate guy driving by in a VoLVo.
Enemy of ALFA, the.

LotA 8: The Turning. In Character. After much debate, the Fellowship decides to free M’kayla so she can help them. M’kayla decides she would rather die fighting the Fellowship than help them, but J’kin stops her. After submitting to one of M’kayla’s spells, J’kin convinces M’kayla that it is the will of Lolth that M’kayla aid the Fellowship. Lylah (Ava) begins to mistrust J’kin, and tells Fionn of her misgivings.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn the gnome.

LotA 9: The Stand. In Character. The Zhents attack the Fellowship in force. Two beholders, leading dozens of Zhent warriors, as well as a half-fiend, half-hobgoblin cleric of Bane, try to take the tower. M’kayla is revealed to be a half-fiend, half-drow, whose normal, demonic succubus-like appearance is ordinarily masked by enchanted tattooing. The Fellowship defeats the Zhents, but beholder rays petrify Fionn and slay the White Warlock. After the fight, the Fellowship sees an even larger Zhent force looming in the distance, this one led by none other than Scyllua Darkhope.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn the gnome.
Luther as the Zhent Captain.
Xavlal
Manxam

LotA 10: The Seed of Evil. In Character. The Fellowship makes its stand against the Zhent army led by the blackguard Scyllua Darkhope and the beholder Xulla. M’kayla, with J’kin’s help, blinds Xulla the beholder. Lylah unleashes a secret and very powerful spell that evens out the odds of the battle. Pelham faces the Zhent Captain, Luther, and his men, and holds them off. Kalbar faces Scyllua Darkhope in one on one combat and defeats her, but she manages to escape on her white nightmare, Tagarene. In the end, the Fellowship triumphs and sends the surviving Zhents fleeing into the desert. M’kayla raises the White Warlock though the Warlock claims it was not Lolth granting the raise. M’kayla scouts the eastern edge of the desert only to find Fzoul Chembryl and the army of Zhentil Keep awaiting them. The Fellowship decides to head back west, find a way into the Underdark, and cross the Anauroch by going under it.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Luther as the Zhent Captain.
Xulla
Scyllua Darkhope
Fzoul Chembryl

LotA 11: The Aftermath. In Character. M’kayla and Lylah talk and more is revealed about them. OOC: David Letterman Show with Fionn Bartadil. Fionn, the first person kicked off of ‘Survivor: Faerun’ gets interviewed by the late night talk show host.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Fionn as Fionn Bartadil.
David Letterman
Paul Shaffer


Lord of the ALFA, Book II, The Two Servers.

LotA 2.1 Underdark? Bring it on! The Fellowship makes it to Menzoberranzan where they encounter the cheerleading Drow priestess-novices of Arach Tinilith as the Tier Breche Spider’s play the Corpses. M’kayla is revealed as a former Menzo Homecoming Queen. The Fellowship then witnesses scantily clad drow priestess-sorority-sisters of Alpha Alpha Faen Tlabbar engage in ritualistic pillow fighting and giggling. M’kayla is revealed as a former boy. The Fellowship decides it is too perilous, and too silly, and so leaves, headed for Ched Nasad.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Knight Light as a Night-Light that gets turned off.
Andrew as DM Andrew.
Gromnir as a disembodied voice.

LotA 2.1.5 The Thousand Swedes. The Fellowship mysteriously finds itself in the Spine of the World mountains where they are set upon by a horde of Swedes. While it turns out the Swedes, being Eurofags, are easy to kill, they also have socialized regeneration, so they all keep getting back up. Just as the Fellowship is about to be overwhelmed, they are teleported back into the Underdark by Leadfeather. M’kayla promptly kills LF.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
The Thousand “Swedes”: Boomer, Luther, Idoru, Fredricus, Voran, Voersaa, Joos RikardK, Krbang, Zicada, Garm Greystaff, and Murky.
Swift as Orc #345.
Leadfeather as M’kayla’s forgotten and ill-fated ‘hero.’

LotA 2.3 The Ultimate Evil. The Fellowship travels to near Ched Nasad where they come across a portal guarded by Faeryransalyn (Drow Goddess of Scripting), Nhamretarm (Drow God of Hosting), and Vendaruen (The Masked Lord). Akilistraee (Drow Goddess of Mooning) and Ghostadaur (the Incomprehensible Evil) are also discussed, whereupon M’kayla is actually revealed to be, at least part time, M’kayLolth (Drow Goddess of Parody, T-Girls and Demon Sex). Kalbar then happily attacks M’kaylaLolth……

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Faeryl as Faerylransalyn, Drow Goddess of Scripting.
Aikivaria as Akilistraee, Drow Goddess of Mooning.
Vendrin as Vendaerun, Drow God of Guys Who Hates Girls Cause They Could Not Get Dates In High School.
Nhamre as Nhamretarm, Drow Goddess of Web Hosting.
Ghost as Ghostadaur, the Incomprehensible Evil.

LotA 2.3.5 The Taking of LotA 1,2,3. Mikayla hijacks her own parody out of boredom.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
None.

LotA 2.4 The Big Boom. The Burt, a Scottish Sheeprider, saves M’kayla momentarily from the attack of Kalbar. The Burt, it seems, is a devoted follower of Demon Sex. M’kayla flees through a portal and finds herself in a land of noobs, called the OAS. Once there, she finds the ALFA FTP being held hostage by a disgruntled app reviewer and former DM threatening to make the place go ‘Boom.’

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Burt as The Burt, a Scottish Sheeprider.
Boombrakh as a disgruntled former apps reviewer and DM turned terrorist.
Thrasy as the Mayor of Tervale.

LotA 2.5 Kalbar, Ava, Whitey and Whitey’s beard squirrel make their way out of the Underdark. They arrive in Daggerdale where they are ‘owned’ by some of the locals who spend their time actually playing instead of posting in the forums.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Duck.
Arien.
Arakiel as Arien’s unnamed husband.
Hignar
Soipa

LotA 2.5.5 The Comic Book Experience. The Super-Fellows, consisting of WolverBain, Professor W, Pel Man, Super Kal, S/he, and, well, um, Ava, fight the evil plots of the McJoker, Duck-Octopus and KingCheese. Later, they encounter the Silver Spammer. S/he reveals herself to actually be the shape changing MystiKayla.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Wynna as Wonder Wynna.
Duck as Duck-Octopus.
Grand Fromage as KingCheese.
McJoker as The McJoker.
Fionn as the Silver Spammer.
Gauntlet Dragon as Galactus-Dragon.

LotA 2.5.6 The Comic Book Experience, #2. MysitiKayla encounters her hero and comic book alter ego, the evil, lesbian, demonic, vampire Purgatori who happens to live in San Francisco. Thereafter, MystiKayla becomes Mikaylatori. The Superfellows encounter Galactus-Dragon who is slain by Lafter using a DM Kill button.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Souvarine as the person who knew.
Gauntlet Dragon as Galactus-Dragon.
Fionn as the Silver Spammer.
Zicada as…Zicada.
Orc Paladin.
Joos.
Wild Wombat as El Oso Del Cuidado.
Caoimhin Fearghul.
Hurlshot.
Alaytes.
Cassiel as The White King, Cassiel Shaw.
Lafter as a DM!

LotA 2.6 With Claw and Fang. In Character. M’kayla escapes the Underdark and Kalbar through a magical portal, then seals the portal behind her. She finds herself in a cave with the Zhent Captain Luther and a few of his surviving men. After a brief struggle, Luther and his men capture M’kayla and make a deal with her.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Luther as the Zhent Captain.
Faeryl as Faeryl Auvryndar.

LotA 2.7 The Spider, the Mask, the Moon and the Beast. In Character. The Fellowship fights Faeryl’s drageloth, but realize they cannot prevail against all the forces the drow high priestess can bring to bear. They are guided to safety by Sorn and his mysterious shadow, later revealed to be Vendrin. Both Sorn and Vendrin are drow as well, but claim to be followers of Vhaerun, the Masked Lord, and hostile to the ‘Spider Kissers’ of Ched Nasad like Faeryl.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Faeryl as Faeryl Auvryndar, Yathtallar d’ Lolth.
Ghost as Gul, the drow necromancer commanding the undead at Faeryl’s disposal.
Nhamre as Faeryl’s Draegloth.
Sorn as Vhaerun worshipping drow wizard.
Vendrin as Vendrin Claddath, a drow assassin.

LotA 2.8 All the Admin’s Men. Intrepid cub reporters the Burt and White Warlock attempt to get the scoop on VP Duck through their deepthroating source. Ava runs for office. Kalbar begins his metamorphosis into a troll. On the first episode of ‘The Player Admin’, Swift is ‘fired’ by ‘the Thrasy.’

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Sorn.
Vendrin.
Burt, the.
Thrasy as the star of the ‘Player Admin.’
Swift as the first PR fired by ‘the Thrasy.’
Duck.
Borgia.
Stormseeker.
JudasOxford.
Galadorn.
Traind.
Boombrakh.
The Enemy of ALFA.

LotA 2.9 Allies. In Character. This chapter recounts the in character situation of the world. Wynna accompanied by the wizard Murky and the un-petrified gnome Fionn, encounter ogres and evidence of M’kayla. Sorn queries the Fellowship after helping them escape the Underdark. Sorn then plans to betray the Fellowship, but Vendrin betrays Sorn first. Vendrin claims to be a secret follower of Eilistraee. M’kayla sneaks into Daggerdale to meet with Luther and his men but she encounters her father; the incubus Eliazar.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Luther as the Zhent Captain.
Wynna as Wynna the White.
Murky as Murky the Wizard.
Fionn as Fionn the gnome.
Sorn as a Vhaerun worshipping drow wizard of House Jaelre.
Vendrin as Vendrin Claddath, a drow assassin who secretly follows Eilistraee.
Laddellon’s Bard (Ciera?) as the ‘flame-haired’ singer M’kayla sees in the tavern.
Arien as the elf woman M’kayla sees in the tavern.
Arakiel as the human man M’kayla sees in the tavern.

LotA 2.10 Of Ducks and Shades. Duck, beset by protestors, commits suicide to prove once and for all that he is not seeking power in ALFA. The crowd grows more suspicious. Meanwhile, M’kayla, Luther, Thaegen and Magile join up with Kalbar, Ava, Whitey, J’kin, and Vendrin. Soon, they are beset by nooblins. Mxlm lays the smackdown on the nooblin chief, Red Tiger. The nooblins leave, but quickly returned having PG’d their way to being hobnooblins. They smackdown Mxlm and move on. A few moments later, having grown further, the horde returns as bugnoobs, threatening to overrun ALFA.

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Duck as former Vice President Duck Cheney-Burns.
Leadfeather as Duck’s aid, Leadfeather Smithers.
Indio as a candidate for President of the United Servers of ALFA.
Luther as the Zhent Captain.
Thaegen as Luther’s man.
Magile as Luther’s man and a friend to turnips.
JudasOxford as the nooblin chief, Red Tiger.
Sadmuse as a sad muse.
Hignar as the highest level character to ever deliver mail…
Rick 7475 as a representative of the People’s Republic of Daggerford.
Thrasy as the Player Admin.
Witch as a representative of the coven.
Ranger de Wood as a representative of de woods.
Mxlm as someone who smacks down a nooblin only to get smacked down by a hobnooblin.
Grand Fromage as the Big Cheese of the Shades.
Zicada as a panicking ALFAn.


Chapter 3 The Index!

ALFAbetical Index of the Supporting Cast.

There are three lists below: 1) ALFA Player Characters mentioned in the LotA (in italics); 2) Iconic figures from Faerun ‘canon’ mentioned in the LotA (underlined); and 3) ALFA members mentioned in the LotA. Each list is organized 'ALFAbetically', more or less, with the name followed by the chapters in which that person is mentioned.

ALFA Player Characters:
Arakiel 2.5, 2.9
Arien. 2.5, 2.9
Hignar. 1, 2, 4, 2.5, 2.10
Laddellon’s Bard. 2.9
Soipa. 2.5

Iconic Characters:
Fzoul Chembryl. 10
Manxam. 9
Scyllua Darkhope. 9, 10
Xavlal. 9
Xulla. 10
David Letterman. 11
Paul Shaffer. 11

ALFA Members:
Akivaria. 2.3
Alaytes. 2.5.6
Andrew. 1, 2, 7i, 2.1
Ayergo. 4
Boombrakh. 3, 2.1.5, 2.42.8
Borgia. 2.8
Brian-Jesse-Karen. 4
Burt, the. 2.4, 2.8
Caoimhin Fearghul. 2.5.6
Cassiel. 1, 2.5.6
Cast-no-Shadow. 4
Coby. 3
Danubus. 1
Duck. 4, 2.4, 2.5.5, 2.8, 2.10
Elorn. 7i
Enemy of ALFA, the. 7i, 10, 2.8, 2.10
Evro. 3, 7i.
Faeryl. 2.3, 2.6, 2.7.
Fionn. 2, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 2.5.5, 2.5.6, 2.9
Fredricus. 2.1.5
Galadorn. 2.8
Garm Greystaff. 2.1.5
Gauntlet Dragon. 2.5.5, 2.5.6
Georage. 4
Ghost. 2.3, 2.7
Grand Fromage. 5, 2.5.5, 2.10
Gromnir. 1, 2.1
Hurlshot. 2.5.6
Idoru. 2.1.5
Indio. 3, 2.10
Jayde. 3, 4
Joos. 2.1.5, 2.5.6
JudasOxford. 2.8, 2.10
Knight Light. 2.1
Krbang. 1, 2.1.5
Lafter. 7i, 2.5.6
Leadfeather. 2.1.5, 2.10
Luther. 9, 10, 2.1.5, 2.6, 2.9, 2.10
Magile. 2.10
McJoker. 4, 2.5.5
Murky. 2.1.5, 2.9
Mxlm. 2.10
Nhamre. 2.3, 2.7
Orc Paladin. 7i, 2.5.6
Ranger de Wood. 2.10
Rick 7475. 2.10
RikardK. 2.1.5
Sadmuse. 2.10
Sorn. 2.7, 2.8, 2.9
Souvarine. 2.5.6
Stormseeker. 2.8
Swift. 2.1.5, 2.8
Thaegen. 2.10
Thrasy. 2.4, 2.8, 2.10
Traind. 2.8
Vendrin. 2.3, 2.7, 2.8, 2.9
Vixisyn. 3
Voersaa. 2.1.5
Voran. 2.1.5
Wild Wombat. 7i, 2.5.6
Witch. 2.10
Wynna. 4, 2.5.5, 2.9
Zicada. 2.1.5, 2.5.6, 2.10