The Vampire Album
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:19 pm
A collection of songs, some inspired by assailing a vampire's den, some just generally undead and scary in nature.
The Abbott of Gabby Abbey
For eons the abbey on top of the hill
Looked over the town down below.
T’was said that within lived a terrible beast,
Though what it was no one could know.
For every so often a stout-hearted lad
With vigor and courage to burn
Would charge up the hill, but the town understood:
Who went up would never return.
But then came a time, on a crisp autumn eve,
When arrived from a land far away,
A mage of appreciable skill and renown,
Intending their fear to allay.
“I’ve taken down dragons and giants in scores.
What challenges have I not won?
I’ll make a foray up the hill on the morn,
And return before the setting sun.”
True then to his promise he strode up the hill
Yet paused, quite perplexed, at the gate.
The entrance was open, no beasts barred the way.
He thought, ‘Is it luck or ill fate?’
He started as, once he attained the great hall,
A voice of melancholic tone
Called, “welcome, my friend, to my humble abode.
I’ve been far too long left alone.”
The mage turned to witness descending the stairs,
His host in quite simple attire,
But fangs and pale skin confirmed what he had guessed -
This was a repellant vampire!
But ere he could reach for the scrolls in his pouch,
And cast a defense from its glares,
The inviting host said, with his arms open wide,
“I’ve had so few guests o’er the years!”
“It’s obvious you are a man that is learned -
A master of topics galore.
Come, dine with me, sire, for I wish to debate
Not fight, for that’s what I abhor.”
Enticed by the chance to engage in a duel
And match wit for wit over wine,
The mage was sucked into an unwitting scheme
Which started out very benign.
That day they discussed local politics and
Diseases and all their vaccines.
Then spent the night covering semantic verbs
And what “break the bank” really means.
The host lectured on through the following day
About each illicit affair
Had by every king through the past thousand years
While the mage fell asleep in his chair.
Tactics for romance and combat were broached,
And seven months passed in a blink.
The dialogue ended when the host looked up
And noticed the horrible stink.
While lifting his glass, he gave compliment,
“You’ve been a fine listener, mage,”
Then sighed, “I suppose it will be another ten years
Ere I find the next to engage.”
The Abbott of Gabby Abbey
For eons the abbey on top of the hill
Looked over the town down below.
T’was said that within lived a terrible beast,
Though what it was no one could know.
For every so often a stout-hearted lad
With vigor and courage to burn
Would charge up the hill, but the town understood:
Who went up would never return.
But then came a time, on a crisp autumn eve,
When arrived from a land far away,
A mage of appreciable skill and renown,
Intending their fear to allay.
“I’ve taken down dragons and giants in scores.
What challenges have I not won?
I’ll make a foray up the hill on the morn,
And return before the setting sun.”
True then to his promise he strode up the hill
Yet paused, quite perplexed, at the gate.
The entrance was open, no beasts barred the way.
He thought, ‘Is it luck or ill fate?’
He started as, once he attained the great hall,
A voice of melancholic tone
Called, “welcome, my friend, to my humble abode.
I’ve been far too long left alone.”
The mage turned to witness descending the stairs,
His host in quite simple attire,
But fangs and pale skin confirmed what he had guessed -
This was a repellant vampire!
But ere he could reach for the scrolls in his pouch,
And cast a defense from its glares,
The inviting host said, with his arms open wide,
“I’ve had so few guests o’er the years!”
“It’s obvious you are a man that is learned -
A master of topics galore.
Come, dine with me, sire, for I wish to debate
Not fight, for that’s what I abhor.”
Enticed by the chance to engage in a duel
And match wit for wit over wine,
The mage was sucked into an unwitting scheme
Which started out very benign.
That day they discussed local politics and
Diseases and all their vaccines.
Then spent the night covering semantic verbs
And what “break the bank” really means.
The host lectured on through the following day
About each illicit affair
Had by every king through the past thousand years
While the mage fell asleep in his chair.
Tactics for romance and combat were broached,
And seven months passed in a blink.
The dialogue ended when the host looked up
And noticed the horrible stink.
While lifting his glass, he gave compliment,
“You’ve been a fine listener, mage,”
Then sighed, “I suppose it will be another ten years
Ere I find the next to engage.”