Songs of Daggerdale (8)

[Ladellon]

Welcome to Daggerdale!

The land around you does abound
With dang’rous, frightful things
To keep you well, this tale I’ll tell -
I’ll be your guide that sings.

When first in town and unrenown,
Go seek Lord Morn’s consent
To right the wrongs and sing the songs
If that be your intent.

There’s bears you’ll stop to save a crop,
Two torches need a light.
A black clad bloke keeps robbing folk
There’s mountain men to fight.

(Chorus)

Oh, the Zhentarim gents are grim -
They’re naught but swagger males.
Regarding Drow, they all must go!
Welcome to Daggerdale!

Goblins resist, there now exists
A bounty for their head.
A crypt awaits for those whose fates
Are to slay the undead.

For those of power there is a tower,
It’s visited most nights.
Along the way, orcs you must slay
And then the water sprites.

If running quests to remove pests
Is not your cup of ale.
There’s other fiends about it seems –
Go hunt them without fail.

(Chorus)

A kobolds den and lizardmen
Crush them please with your maces.
And for a thrill, there’s an anthill –
Collect their carapaces.

And if you like to take a hike
There’s Ironstar’s Dwarven Halls,
Then Daggersprings and White Chalk brings
You back to Dagger Falls.

(Chorus)

If you should fail in Daggerdale
To find adventure grand
You’ve failed indeed to see the need
For your courageous hand.

Take heart, good men, please try again
You’ll rise above the mire!
If all else fails, buy fifteen ales
And go sit by the campfire!

(Chorus)


Broken Dagger

A chap from Luskan walked into
A tavern in the dales
And boasted how he’d tricked a god
And captured twenty whales!

The tender of the bar served him
One of his special ales.
The chap collapsed with just one swig
Which ended all his tales!

Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
Stop croakin’ bragger! Stand!
Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
The Broken Dagger’s grand!

A noble elf of great repute
And taste beyond compare,
On hearing of the famous ale,
Announced, “I’ll take me there.”

When consuming the steaming drink
And trying to show off,
He, too, fell to the tavern floor,
Sputtered, gagged, and coughed.

Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
Stop croakin’ bragger! Stand!
Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
The Broken Dagger’s grand!

Others too, the famous brew
Has silenced with its kick.

*spoken* So, for you chaps who’re thinkin’ o’ drinkin’

Sip the ale most cautiously,
It’s known to be the trick!

Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
Stop croakin’ bragger! Stand!
Huy! Huy! Huy! Huy!
The Broken Dagger’s grand!


Campfires

I came upon a group of folks
‘Round a fire, telling jokes,
And though I gently tried to coax
They wouldn’t go inside!

Because of constant, pelting rain
Each face was grim and filled with pain,
And yet they all did there remain.
Too stubborn to get dried!

The Dagger called through gusting gale
And spoke of women, food, and ale,
Where all could sit and share a tale,
Yet no one saw the sense!

“We like it on the cold, wet yard,”
Timidly sighed one to this bard,
“And though, here, viewed by every guard,
The town’s just too immense!”

I left them on that sodden spot,
They’d eat cold food, while I’d eat hot,
And wondered if they’d think a lot
About what they’d been shown.

‘If they prefer to sit out there,’
I mumbled on a Dagger’s chair,
‘Then they can freeze for all I care.
I’ll sing to just me alone!”


The Bardmeet

We’ve come from near and far, you know,
To gather and enjoy the show.
At Red Rock, ales and tales will flow,
The Bardmeet’s come to town!

One here will strum upon her lute,
One there will give his horn a toot.
It’s likely both will get the boot.
They’ll wear no victor’s crown!

It matters not how well or loud
One plays or if they’re meek or proud.
To win one has to charm the crowd!
And put them into trances!

And with that I’ll sing off the cuff,
Tonight you’ll shout, “Ale!” just enough,
As well, “We’re made o’ stouter stuff!”
To boost this minstrel’s chances.

Due to most who will be bringing
Only they’re best stuff for singing
We invite you, please, no flinging
Fruit at any players!

For if you turn us from your town
And then go ‘venturing around
We’ll sing no songs to lift your frown.
You’ll be the music slayers!

We’ve long been anticipating
A bardmeet for participating
In tune, tale and song relating.
Some from our very birth.

So, sit back, relax, have an ale,
Cross fingers and hope we don’t fail
To brighten up ol’ Daggerdale
With songs and tales of mirth.


Siege of White Chalk Hollow

As sun descended from the sky,
‘Hind White Chalk Hollow’s walls
Some hardy warriors heard the cries
Of rumbling, beastial calls

Tesh Valley opened up her maw -
Spewed forth a heathen horde.
Yet hardy warriors steel did draw
And defiantly roar:

(Chorus)
To arms! To arms! Here they come!
They’re bold and think they’re tough.
Stand your ground! Our shouts resound . . .
We’re made of stouter stuff!

The councilor hin, Rem, did begin
To mount the town’s defense.
The hardy warriors grimly braced
As battle did commence.

Wave after wave the walls repelled.
En mass orcs met their fate,
Whilst dwarves Hignar, Segnar, Dralin,
And Olga held the gate.

(Chorus)

“A giant, lo, among the foe!”
One hardy warrior cried.
Methos, enraged, did fell the beast
But in so doing, died.

The battle done, the town had won!
With virtue’s threat now gone,
Upon the walls the warriors called
Out to the breaking dawn:

(Chorus)

Oh, cast around - pound for pound . . .
We’re made of stouter stuff!

All together now!
We’ll win each round because we’ve found . . .
We’re made of stouter stuff!

One last time!
Ask around – we’re glory bound . . .
We’re made of stouter stuff!


Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain!

Wet, soaked, flooded, sodden, damp,
Are words quite suitable
In describing Daggerdale, where
Weather’s immutable.

If you’re not drenched, if you’re not moist,
You’ve gone loose in the head.
For who, with droplets pouring down,
Would stay inside instead?

Soggy, dripping, saturated –
Get used to how it feels.
For when a storm seems that it’s through,
Another’s on its heels.

Oh, Rain, rain, rain, rain!
We’re full of admiration!
Rain, rain, rain, rain!
For its squelchy sensation!

Rain, rain, rain, rain!
We anxiously anticipate!
Rain, rain, rain, rain!
That it will never dissipate!


Teshford Arms

Behold her charms!
The Teshford Arms!
Please be assured,
When you've endured
Vile vermin and their lethal arms,
You're all but cured
Once at the Teshford Arms!

Amidst the farms!
The Teshford Arms!
I'd like to suggest
When you're too stressed
Come in, relax, avoid the harms,
It's time to rest
Within the Teshford Arms!

The Teshford Arms!
The Teshford Arms!
I'm sure that you will be impressed!
It's almost as if you've been blessed!
Behold her endless, dazzling charms!
Welcome to the Teshford Arms!


Red Rock Inn

If what I say can be believed,
I've seen fantastic deeds achieved,
Where men have cheered and men have grieved
As friends were laid to rest.

I'll tell you all those tales, but first
I'd like to satisfy my thirst
By heading to a place well-versed
In granting drink and rest . . .

Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock!
From Dagersprings and from White Chalk,
The folk, when parched, will always flock
To Reeeeeedddd ROCK!

It's there, by foot or horse or wagon
We'll go and share a flagon
As I tell you of the dragon
I met once with a hin.

A kindly chap - the noble sort -
We calmed him, as a last resort,
By off'ring him a flute of port
Poured from our fav'rite inn . . .

Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock!
From Dagersprings and from White Chalk,
The folk, when parched, will always flock
To Reeeeeedddd ROCK!